Day 12...
Where do I start? Landon is doing well, he is up to eating 45 ml and today has taken two feedings of 28ml by bottle before getting tired. The rest gets tube-fed to him. The nurses say he is also still gaining weight and is Above his birth weight. Thursday he hit 5 lbs and today is at 5 lb 3.5oz! He is still small but he is tough.
Yesterday when Bryan and I went to visit, Landon had a new nurse who is normally in Labor & delivery. I had called to let them know we were coming and that I'd like to nurse him since we would be there for the 10:30: feeding. We arrived at 10:40 and they had already given him the bottle and were hooking him up to tube feed. I was extremely upset by this. I'm sure it was just miscommunication but I couldn't get over it. To make matters worse, the nurse kept interrupting our time with Landon and then came to tell us that she would be gone for a while to discharge another baby. She didn't need to tell us that, she could have simply left or at most said she had something to take care of. UGH!!!! Although, I am super happy for the other baby going home...I want My baby to come home. Is it wrong to be upset by that? I overheard another couple asking when they will get released (baby was just born that day) and the Dr. said they'd only be there 1 week. Landon is where he needs to be...he is in the best place for him right now...I get it but it doesn't make it easier. I've started having dreams/nightmares about him not coming home and I think about him every waking minute. This is HARD!!!!
Trick-or-treating last night and the pumpkin patch today with the boys was difficult too. I loved spending time with the boys, we've run in to a bunch of friends and co-workers asking about Landon. Talking about it and putting on a smile although I feel like I'm dying inside is emotionally draining. We are taking the boys to see Landon tomorrow. They won't be able to visit after Wednesday because of flu season, however, they get bored at the hospital so they might not mind too much. The Dr.'s offered for me to stay at the hospital for a few days at a time rather than 10 straight days (which is the norm) so I will stay up there Friday and Saturday night. Hopefully, Landon and I will get in a good routine and he will get to come home soon.
Where do I start? Landon is doing well, he is up to eating 45 ml and today has taken two feedings of 28ml by bottle before getting tired. The rest gets tube-fed to him. The nurses say he is also still gaining weight and is Above his birth weight. Thursday he hit 5 lbs and today is at 5 lb 3.5oz! He is still small but he is tough.
Yesterday when Bryan and I went to visit, Landon had a new nurse who is normally in Labor & delivery. I had called to let them know we were coming and that I'd like to nurse him since we would be there for the 10:30: feeding. We arrived at 10:40 and they had already given him the bottle and were hooking him up to tube feed. I was extremely upset by this. I'm sure it was just miscommunication but I couldn't get over it. To make matters worse, the nurse kept interrupting our time with Landon and then came to tell us that she would be gone for a while to discharge another baby. She didn't need to tell us that, she could have simply left or at most said she had something to take care of. UGH!!!! Although, I am super happy for the other baby going home...I want My baby to come home. Is it wrong to be upset by that? I overheard another couple asking when they will get released (baby was just born that day) and the Dr. said they'd only be there 1 week. Landon is where he needs to be...he is in the best place for him right now...I get it but it doesn't make it easier. I've started having dreams/nightmares about him not coming home and I think about him every waking minute. This is HARD!!!!
Trick-or-treating last night and the pumpkin patch today with the boys was difficult too. I loved spending time with the boys, we've run in to a bunch of friends and co-workers asking about Landon. Talking about it and putting on a smile although I feel like I'm dying inside is emotionally draining. We are taking the boys to see Landon tomorrow. They won't be able to visit after Wednesday because of flu season, however, they get bored at the hospital so they might not mind too much. The Dr.'s offered for me to stay at the hospital for a few days at a time rather than 10 straight days (which is the norm) so I will stay up there Friday and Saturday night. Hopefully, Landon and I will get in a good routine and he will get to come home soon.
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